Maybe from your perspective, but not so much from mine. I can see how much more there is to do. And I'm TIRED!!!! So I want a little help. (Yo, Universe! A little help?)
I don't want to recreate the wheel. If there are established ways that work in my situation, that help to develop more positive mental states that last, then it seems to me that following those paths would be efficacious. This is not necessarily a time when "go the way less travelled" or "go your own way" or thinking outside the box is the good option.
Fix now, creative later.
===
Much later ...
I've spent the evening with my neighbors on the south side of the house. They rock. I haven't had any alcohol for awhile due to my previous psych saying "no no" due to the medications I'm on (other medical folks have been less stringent), and they gave me some wine. Then some more wine. Then dinner. Then, when it was just me and her (because he was asleep on the couch in front of the TV), homemade kahlua and cream over ice. Mmm. And lots of talking about Mom and grief and Mom's choices about the estate and about their family and about my special friend (because they were a couple I shared the potential with back when it started) and all kinds of stuff. I haven't been tipsy in quite awhile. If I can, I'm going to join them for their 7:30 am walk. If not tomorrow, then definitely the following morning. Tomorrow I may not manage it. I am feeling pretty darned good.
Anyway, I got plenty of validation about being alone and trying to do things alone and it being difficult and nothing about being all positive. I liked it. I know other people are trying to be helpful, but it is also very helpful for someone to say "yes, you are alone. yes, it is hard. I hear you and my heart goes out to you. Have some more wine."
I had a great time. Now I'm tipsy. And tired. I'll write tomorrow when I can function mentally.
LOL Yay!! Yay for the good drink-offering neighbor who didn't try to make you be positive!
ReplyDeleteOr should I be less positive?
Boo! Sucks to the crappy neighbor trying to be all "there there" and plying you with the rotgut alcohol that's no good for you! Just making things WORSE! Now you'll wake up hungover! And you'll get NO WORK DONE!! Life will seem worse than ever!! My God some people are cruel.
@Mabel: You kill me! :)
ReplyDeleteSo, first I was cranky, then I was tipsy. Yeah, I think tipsy was better. I don't even feel entirely like crap today!