Chemistry for Sadness

I saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner today (aka psych). I told her that I am feeling better mood-wise, but I'm still anxious and I just cannot seem to break that inertia-to-active barrier. (I didn't call it that; I just came up with it. But it's a great and intelligent-sounding phrase, isn't it?)

She listened to me this time (and I felt listened to, although she did call a patient and leave a message while I was in there — there is always something that takes up part of our 10 minutes or so together). Then she made notes on her computer and kind of rummaged around and came up with a med that is currently being used as an "add-on" to help bump up an anti-depressant. It's folic acid, the thing that they give pregnant women so that their fetus will have what it needs. This version of the folic acid, however, passes through the blood-brain barrier, which is what allows it to help with depression, so said my psych. It's been used very successfully with cancer patients; I hope that means they've also used it people who are depressed but don't have cancer.

I picked up my prescriptions and asked to talk to the pharmacist because I hadn't been on this particular med before. The first thing she asked me was were my folate levels down. Well, my psych didn't ask for that to be tested, which I didn't mention to the pharmacist (but I probably should have). I told her it was being used to treat my depression; she said yes, because when your folate levels are low you can get depressed. Okay ....

I'm on this med, wondering if I need to get my folate levels tested and if I should keep taking it if my folate levels get too high. Did my psych think about that? Does she know what would happen? Now I need to call her to ask her.

I suppose this is just another of the things I should probably be tested for, but I'm putting off going to the doctor for my "well woman" exam. Why? Because the lab tests cost a lot of money, and I'm still about $1500 from reaching my deductible. That's a hell of a lot of money for me right now. Therefore, until I have money (income or winning the lottery), I'm putting off my exam, my mammogram, the dentist, and lab tests.

In the meantime, assuming that my psych puts my concerns to rest, I anxiously await the effects of my new med. While I now have my new visualization for getting over "speed bumps" (that inertia-to-active barrier I mentioned earlier) — a big, black classic Jeep, built for extreme off-road action, it sneers at speed bumps — I still could use some help. I hope that my new chemical, which supposedly has no known side effects but could cause an allergic reaction, which is why I took my pill when I got home rather than waiting until just before bed, provides me with that help.

I wonder if it will cure me of extreme punctuation use?