When I was a child, I was amazingly outgoing and would talk to anyone who stood still long enough. I once introduced myself to a new mailman with my name, followed by "and I'm cute!" I knew it was true because everyone told me so.
But my dad was a cop, so he worked hard at teaching us, me especially, not to talk to strangers. Between that, puberty-onset shyness, and my inherent introversion, I became quite good at not talking to strangers. (I could still talk to friends who stood still long enough.)
But now I must talk to strangers if I am to find work and/or develop my own business. I must talk to strangers if I am to make new friends. And while some of my abilities and issues have changed, and my meds have had an effect, it's not always enough to make talking to strangers anything close to easy. And now that the meds aren't doing their job, such speech is very, very far from easy.
Tonight, my mind and body are buzzing as if filled with a hive of mad bees. I attended a professional meeting and spoke not only to individual strangers but to an entire group of them when I announced needing volunteers for a project I'm working on. I had met a few of these people before, but could only count two as people who knew my name. The food was well-balanced (and tasty!), so I cannot blame blood sugar. And the buzzy, vibrating feeling began before I entered my car for the long drive home. (And I don't have a sex toy in my pocket, although that might be a useful idea to help me come down from this feeling!)
I think it's nerves, both the anxiety kind and, probably in reaction, the neurological kind, given that I do have some neurological issues, too.
I can't go to sleep while I feel like this. Caffeine is useful and easy for perking up. What drink is useful and easy for perking down?
What would work, and has worked in the past, would be slow, comfortable conversation with a loved one. (Well, slow comfortable something else with a special loved one would work, too.) However, that is not an option at this moment, so instead I must contemplate warm milk.
If only there weren't so damned many strangers that I have to talk to!
May I return back to the part where you went out, spoke before a group, asked for assistance, and talked to strangers?! Well done! On so many levels.
ReplyDeleteChamomile tea and melatonin are both things that have been known to help in relaxing, so as to get yourself closer to sleeping. (My sister's husband had excellent results with a combo.) No idea how this may work with your current meds, best to check.
Can't give you any helpful tips (personal-like) from my end, the fam says my sleep patterns are "wrong." I get horizontal, close my eyes and then, I'm asleep. Sometimes I alphabetize fruit if that process takes longer than 3 minutes.
Julie
Three. Days. In. A. Row.
Look at you, Julie, pointing out the positive in everything! And here all I was doing was complaining about how weird I felt afterward. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI have melatonin, And I can only drink chamomile tea if I dose it with honey and/or lemon, because I can't stand the taste alone. It doesn't put me to sleep, but it makes a friend not only go unconscious, but wake up feeling slightly drugged the next day, which is so not like chamomile.
I've been waking up in the night lately, several times, feeling quite uncomfortable. Don't know if it's a nighttime med wearing off or what, but I don't like it. Usually, when I go to sleep, I stay asleep.