Variables and charts and math, oh my!

I keep track of my moods, and other stuff, in a spreadsheet. (Yes, I am a totally geek, and a nerd to boot.) Not only do I record numerical values (plus notes), but I created some line graph charts to show me in visual format what's happening.

Unfortunately, I cannot see anything useful in the graphs. Maybe the data really is random. Or maybe my lack of mathematical ability and understanding is the problem. (Maybe?!) I'll print it all out (on the printer I am so much in love with that I intend to marry) and take it to my psych and my therapist, see if they have anything useful to say.

I have been all over the map lately. Good days, bad days, days that are highly variable within themselves. Today I got up feeling detached, probably due to Mother's Day tomorrow. Then I read a very touching email that a friend wrote me and I cried and cried. Then I felt better. I hate to say it, but crying appears to be helpful to my moods.

Maybe I have so much hurt and fear inside I could never let out that I need to simply cry and cry and cry it all out to get better. Seems a lot like this trauma therapy. Put everything in its place in the past, cry your eyes out, feel better.

Luckily I already use high-powered eye drops. Sigh. Better put stock in Refresh eye drops!

Really, there is no more to say today. It's a variable day. And now I'm depressed. But I did feel better earlier.