This is what my folks called "nerves" (which was probably anxiety) when I was a kid. If you were all nervous about something, you were having the screaming meemies. I think I had them a lot, now that it's come to mind. I was a hypersensitive child, just as I am an only-slightly-less-hypersensitive adult. Plus, there were all these complications from bad stuff that would have fed into my anxieties.
I am having the screaming meemies right now. A wonderful opportunity was offered to me today (not a paying kind, I'm afraid) and I jumped on it of course, but now my meemies are screaming their little ... whatevers off. After I produced a document for the guy who gave me this opportunity, I essentially shut down. I've just been mindlessly surfing the web. I feel a bit shell-shocked in a way: kind of numb, a feeling of looming dread, and the feeling that no one is there behind my eyes. Screaming meemies alright — anxiety doesn't seem to quite describe it.
I also chose to not submit my resume on a potential job today. Does that make me lazy or bad? An email came up on a group I belong to saying that the agency she was doing contracting work with needed 2 more people and that if we wanted to talk to the recruiter, we had to do it today because she is off on vacation starting tomorrow. I looked at the info in the email and decided no. Why? 1) It's with a company in an industry that I haven't been able to break into — even for a contract job — because I have no experience in that particular industry, so there seemed no point; 2) my first thought was "well, then I wouldn't be able to do these other things, which are the project I'm currently working on and this opportunity. So I chose to forego a shot at a contract job so I wouldn't miss out on a cool-but-low-paying freelance gig and a wonderful volunteer gig.
I hope the Universe helps me out a bit here before my meemies scream themselves hoarse.
Neither lazy nor bad. You are being selective and discriminatory. (Although I probably spelled both of those wrong.) You are making choices that are GOOD for you, and not just jumping at any old crappy thing that crosses your path. Very positive, and self-worthy.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds similar to my Scrambled Brain. It fades, always. But maybe something soothing to help distract from the scatter would be nice, like harp music, a wander around the complex, some quiet moments as suggested by the Zen guy, even deep breathing in the shower. Anything that will bring the focus back to mindfulness and get the flinging-around-the-room aspect derailed.
Julie
Yes, it fades. (And you spelled both those words correctly.) But while it is occurring, I just get so frazzled I forget what to do. I should probably put together a list of things to do during such times and tape it to the inside of my medicine chest.
ReplyDeleteThe shrill mother in The Thin Man was named Mimi. So I'm imagining the screaming meemies look like her. She might need to be told to sit on the couch and just drink her martini like a good girl.
ReplyDelete